


Who Dares to Love Forever?

by shake_off_everything20



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Big Gay Love Story, Boys In Love, Canon Gay Relationship, Comfort/Angst, Endings, Established Relationship, Foreplay, Groping, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Making Out, Romance, Slow Romance, endings and beginnings, moving forward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:20:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27333301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shake_off_everything20/pseuds/shake_off_everything20
Summary: The conclusion of BoRhap filming brings up emotions for Joe and Rami -- and a decision.
Relationships: Rami Malek/Joe Mazzello
Comments: 11
Kudos: 15
Collections: Two Years of BoRhap 2020 Exchange





	Who Dares to Love Forever?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Killerqueengigi (Bellagia8)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellagia8/gifts).



> This was written for the Two Years of BoRhap 2020 Exchange. 
> 
> I changed the timing of real-life events referenced in order to tell this fictional story.
> 
> The story contains references to a loved one's death and descriptions of clothes-on making out.
> 
> Queen’s song “Who Wants to Live Forever” was an inspiration.

Joe buried his feet into the soft cool sand, leaned back on his elbows and bent his knees. The sun ducked low behind the gathering grey clouds framing them with a golden light. He let himself settle into the sand and the peacefulness of the day’s final act. Then he absentmindedly started to rake his fingers through the sand, making sideway figure eights, gathering sand toward him, smoothing it away from him. He took on a steady rhythm, and as peered down he realized the imprint he created was the infinity sign. Joe looked out to the horizon now alit with the pinks and golds of the sunset teasing behind dark patches. The rhythm of the waves before him, he thought, was the epitome of infinity. No matter the weather or what was happening in the world or if he was there watching - the waves would continue to crash, or at low tide, turn inward and merge, before quietly receding. There was something soothing about that continuity-that reliability, that certainty. Just like the notion of infinity.  
  
It’s really a unique concept, Joe thought-to be without end. His life had taught him so far that most beginnings are hard -- and most things end. There is finality. And it hurts. He felt a pang in his chest as he thought of the recent champagne toast celebrating the conclusion of their BoRhap filming. 

Joe breathed in the salty ocean air and with it, tremendous satisfaction at the successful completion of the project and its early positive buzz. He smiled as he recalled the adage: “Make new friends and keep the old; one is silver and the other, gold.” The two new friends he made would soon depart for other projects, though reunions were planned and group chats arranged. The old friendship he had come to treasure even more, but he couldn’t quite fathom its future. Along with the gratification came uncertainty.  
  
As the waves before him receded, Joe reflected that he couldn’t bear the thought of another parting from that man, not even until they ‘both had a break’ and could ‘pick up again.’ Joe’s heart pounded under his hoodie as he thought of the impact of that departure on top of the recent loss, still raw. Why was that destined to end prematurely? The man who gave him life, helped launch this crazy career and believed in him, soothed him, taught him, laughed with him and loved him unconditionally. Over the last months, Joe watched his father go from the vibrant light that bounced around every room, eliciting smiles, to the slight being folding into himself, struggling to muster energy to engage. From the fit muscled talent under the spotlight, to the cancer patient with translucent skin peppered with bruises and hollow eyes that cast empty gazes. But yet, he still reached for Joe and clutched his hand or smiled into the screen, and powered as many cells as he could to converse with his devoted son. This man who helped built his dreams was now fading away.  
  
Staring into the almost black sky, Joe recalled that night when sadness took a victory lap and shadowed all the good. When the blossoms of his sorrow opened, and pouring rain loosened their delicate pedals until they floated, defeated, to the ground. Joe had walked back into the room, his eyes locked on the phone gripped In his hand. The firm touch grasped his arm and the warm eyes scanned him with concern, as the soft voice uttered, “What is it?” Joe continued to gaze down.  
  
“Joe!” Rami implored as his other hand grasped the redhead’s other arm. Joe tilted his head up slightly meeting Rami’s eyes.  
  
“The doctor said, that’s it. They can’t do any more. They can just keep him comfortable without pain until….” Joe swallowed and shoved the phone in his pocket. Rami pulled him close, holding Joe up-physically, emotionally.. Joe’s arms wrapped around Rami and he fell into him as wave after wave of sadness consumed him and the tears unleashed. This was the end. After processing the news, Rami had hurriedly made Joe’s flight arrangements; he would travel alone. When Joe returned to his childhood home, his dad was in and out of consciousness, so many things left unsaid.  
  
As those thoughts punctuated the soothing cadence of this long fingers moving the sand, suddenly, Joe sat up and crossed his ankles. He picked a new spot in front of him and started to dig with rigid fingers-to bury those feelings. Of sorrow. Of cessation. The conclusion of BoRhap and those four boys together, his father’s final days and another separation looming. As if to punctuate the landslide of loss, Joe eyed a large wave gaining speed, its crest rising and foaming as it approached the shore. It crashed at Joe’s feet, drenching his ankles and lapping at his shorts. The water receded quickly, but left the infinity moats by his sides in ruins.  
  
Joe stood up quickly and rubbed his hands together and then brushed his bottom to rid himself of the sand and dampness and sadness.  
  
Entering the beach, Rami removed his boat shoes and held them as his eyes spotted the auburn figure rising by the water. His heart surged along with his forward movement. His toes clutched the cool sand. Emotions pooled in his heart, now ready to spill over. Tonight, they’d round the curve and look ahead to the future before them in a different way. Together, Rami hoped. They had always just accepted the partings and the reunions. They each had busy lives and many demands and were grateful for their times together. But Rami knew it was different now: they had grown closer during BoRhap and, honestly, they weren’t getting any younger. Rami knew he had found true love in his dearest friend, and he thought Joe had too. He couldn’t imagine love feeling different or better. Their professional and personal time together had cemented what Rami hadn’t admitted to himself-or to Joe - and was now crystal clear, just like the stars now dotting the West Coast sky, creating a protective canopy for this moment. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Joe. And even though that life would require separations, he knew he wanted to have Joe as his partner. As his home.  
  
Joe became aware of a figure approaching, and suddenly felt that familiar firm touch across his back. He turned his head over his shoulder and stretched his mouth into a forced grin.  
  
“It’s getting cold,” the voice was clear and steady and rich. And soothing. How it polished the roughness over many years, even during late night phone calls spanning different time zones, like the turbulent ocean smooths the sharp angles of the seashells.  
  
Joe felt strong, graceful fingers around his waist pulling him closer and he fell into the warm embrace. Four firm thighs touched through khaki cotton; soft lips found necks.  
  
“Oh, Rami.” Joe arched his back to allow for more access. Rami accepted the invitation. His kisses tenderly landed on Joe’s Adam’s apple and grazed his exposed neck.  
  
Joe leaned forward, ducking his head to kiss Rami’s lower lip, and Rami’s lips engulfed his. Rami wrapped his hands around Joe’s back and Joe clasped Rami’s face, pulling him closer. Their kisses were like fire, generating heat just like the stars in the darkening sky above them. As their kisses deepened, Rami pressed harder into Joe’s back bringing him closer, creating momentum to keep them standing. Though he fought the urge move his hands lower and drag them both down to their knees, easing Joe back onto damp sand as he cradled Joe’s head into his hand.  
  
Joe released Rami’s face, and ever so gently, cupped one hand under the soft hair gracing his neck. Rami let out a quiet moan and deepened his kisses. Joe’s hands then moved south down Rami’s curved arms toward his hips. Rami froze, unable to focus on kissing as he followed Joe’s big strong hands down his body. Joe latched his index fingers through Rami’s front belt loops, and his thumbs circled over Rami’s hipbones. He leaned in and kissed Rami’s forehead and temple and Rami moaned at the sensations. “Joe…” Rami faintly uttered, as he rocked with Joe’s steady pulls on his belt loops. Rami ducked under Joe’s chin to lick and suck Joe's neck following his collarbone. “Oh. God.” Joe gasped, overcome by Rami’s thick, wet lips paving a path along his tender, exposed skin. Joe eased his hands around Rami’s hips, slowly sliding his hands into Rami’s back pockets. He spread his fingers as much as the constrained space allowed and kneaded Rami's firm ass. Rami pressed forward and kissed Joe firmly, letting him know how he enjoyed the ginger’s deft hands thrusting Rami toward him. Rami buried his face in Joe’s neck and let his hips grind into Joe’s growing hardness.  
  
Rami raised his head next to Joe’s ear. “I want you. I want to show you I love you. Let’s go back to mine,” he said purposefully.  
  
“And then what?” Joe asked, suddenly pulling back mid-thrust. He glanced out to the ocean and then back at Rami. Joe started deeply into Rami’s eyes. The gaze was not lustful. It was questioning and it needed an answer.  
  
“That will be the end again? Cause if it is…if it will be, then let’s just stop it right here. Say our goodbyes. Till next time. No need to prolong…” Joe stopped and braced himself, for life also taught him that sometimes, even when love is strong, sometimes, it has to end.  
  
“What? No!” Rami blurted out, startled at the question and the alternative Joe threw out. “No, no….” he repeated emphatically, shaking his head, as he grasped for the right words, trying to frame the thoughts and emotions that built over last few months and peaked this night. Looking at Joe, now filled with anger and uncertainty, Rami knew he couldn’t wait for the entwined afterglow of their lovemaking to tell Joe his feelings and propose.  
  
The wind whipped through them, weighing their hair with beachy heaviness. “ Joe…” Rami said softly, as the right side of his mouth spread to a grin and his hand reached up to rub Joe’s shoulder, “I don’t want to part again. I don’t want us to separate. We belong together. To share long lives together.” Rami paused. “To marry.”  
  
“And what if we can’t?” Joe said tears gathering in his eyes, as he thought of his father.  
  
“What do you mean, Joe?” Rami asked, anxiety rising in him, for he had envisioned a romantic embrace and happy tears would follow his declaration.  
  
“My father was supposed to live a long and happy life… and now, I can’t tell him the truth. My truth. That I love you, that I’ve loved you for more than 10 years. That you’re my best friend-and lover. You give me joy, and pleasure and comfort. And we share so much. That I want you by my side for the rest of my life.”  
  
Rami nodded and breathed out as he reached for Joe’s hand with his free hand. “He helped make you who you are-who I love. He’ll always be here. In you. With us.” Rami said.  
  
Tears collected on the rims of Joe’s eyes and he nodded. “That. That right there,” Joe said with a smirk, as he squeezed Rami’s hand and grasped his waist, “That’s why I love you.” He leaned in and kissed Rami softly.  
  
Rami lingered on the kiss and then broke away slowly. “We don’t know all that lies ahead, but we do know that we want to have as much forever as we can have together. Let’s start today.”

  


**Author's Note:**

> -The reference to a partner as 'home,' comes from Billy Joel's beautiful song, "You're My Home."
> 
> -Rami has spoken about the immensity and importance of capturing and celebrating moments, most notably in his Oscar acceptance speech he noted 'this monumental moment." The ebbs and flows of life are punctuated by important moments-that should be paused for and recognized.


End file.
